Parenting Style:
Take-It-As-It-Comes
(The Windsock Parent)
Overview:
This parenting style is not commonly outlined in books or web pages, but still is very commonly-used. The parent has seen well-behaved children, wants to have well-behaved children themselves, but is so emotionally attached to their own child that they struggle in knowing the proper technique for accomplishing this behavior.
Parent’s Characteristics: - Devoted to the child
- All good intentions
- Would like their child to be well-behaved
- Expects their child to be well-behaved
- Reads books and websites for advice on raising children
- Tells a child right from wrong, but doesn't give enough explanation as to why.
- Inconsistent with discipline when a rule is broken
- No follow up for future expectations
Child’s Characteristics: - Average self-esteem
- Struggles with social skills
- Wants to know what is expected of them
- Doesn't understand rules at daycare, school or in the workforce
- Throws temper tantrums
- Doesn't know boundaries
Results of this Parenting Style: - A child who does not "just know" how to behave. They want and need rules to be consistent, whether it be at home, at daycare, at school or out for the evening.
- A child who will test their parent many different times in childhood because they're never quite sure what the boundaries are.
- A child who will display embarrassing behavior because boundaries are not clear.
Suggestions: - Be consistent! The number one rule for every parent. Children need to know what you expect and what will happen if they don’t live up to that expectation…100% of the time.
- Communicate with your child. Sit down and explain to them what your expectations are. Many times, all a child needs is to know what is expected. Once you tell them the rules, do not bend. A child very quickly picks up on a parent who gives in.
- When they display embarrassing behavior in public, don't be afraid to reprimand. You can correct your child's behavior without embarrassing them or you in front of others, but this is a very important time for consistency.
- Don't give empty threats. If you threaten to do something when they misbehave, make sure you can follow through with the threat. Children will catch on fast if you don't really mean what you say.
- Make the child earn indulgences and take away for misbehavior. You don’t have to use physical punishment if you’re willing to “stick to your guns” when it comes time to take privileges away or take material items away. Don't be willing to give things back to them just because they’re angry.
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