Make sure your child knows the boundaries and knows who’s making the rules.

Parenting children means letting them know what the boundaries are and who is enforcing the rules. This all has to start at a very young age.

I’ve witnessed families who have a new infant and the infant changes the entire family routine. Of course an infant will make family dynamics change to a certain degree, but it should not change the entire family routine. The infant should fit into your schedule and routine, not vice-versa.

The infant running the household transitions into a toddler running the household. If your toddler yells and screams when they’re not getting their way and you immediately jump to see what they want, they will keep yelling and screaming to get their way. I’ve had plenty of families in my daycare whose toddler was controlling the parents. The tail was wagging the dog, if you will.

These parents arrive at my house in the morning complaining they were unable to take a shower because the toddler threw a fit or they’re running late because the toddler had to color a picture before coming to daycare. Getting yourself and your children ready to go in the morning so you can get to work on time is a perfect time to be a parent and enforce the rules. If your toddler can’t let you get ready for work, then they must sit in a chair while you’re getting ready. If they cry and scream because you’re being mean, put in earplugs. They need to know that you are making the rules and you will control the morning schedule.

A toddler running the household transitions into a preschooler running the household. By this age, when rules are not enforced, they've learned that throwing a tantrum will allow them to get their way. Sometimes it doesn’t work right away, but they figure out that if they throw the tantrum long enough, you will give in. Don’t give into your child’s screaming just because you’re getting a headache. Giving in will cause way too many headaches in the future!

You have to be willing to tell a child “no.” It’s really okay to say it if the reason you’re saying it is in her own best interest. You may be keeping them safe or you may be teaching them a life lesson. It's also okay for a child to get mad at you. They won't quit loving you just because you had to say no.

When you’re raising a toddler and preschooler, it’s real easy to feel like you're always saying “no.” “No, don’t touch the t.v.” “No, don’t hit your brother.” “No, you can’t have any more treats.” Make sure you get some more positive statements in between the negative. “Be careful not to spill that glass of milk” sounds better than “Don’t spill that glass of milk.” I know you can carry that without dropping it” sounds better than “Don’t you dare drop that.” “That dress you picked out today looks beautiful on you” lets her know that everything you say is not going to be negative.