Tell, don’t ask.

While parenting, you should know that when you ask a question, you’re giving the other person the option of answering “yes” or “no”. So when you’re talking to your child, if they don’t have the option of saying “no”, don’t ask it as a question.

For instance, with your toddler if you say “Did you want to try to use the bathroom before we leave for the grocery store?” You don’t want them to say “no” because you don’t want them wetting their pants, so don’t give them that option. Instead say “Let’s go in and try to go potty before we get into the car.”

Your twelve year old is leaving for school without a jacket when it’s twenty degrees out. Don’t ask them to put one on. Tell them they need to put their jacket on.

With your fifteen year old, you might say, “Would you load the dishes after dinner?” You don’t want the answer to be “no” because it’s a household chore you expect them to help with, so don’t give the option. Instead say, “Please load up the dishwasher after dinner.”

You are the adult and you have a right to tell them what they should be doing or requesting chores out of them. I was guilty of asking my kids to do something way too many times. After they answered no, I had to say “Okay, let me rephrase that….” I had to tell, not ask.