Allow the Child Times When They Can Show Independence.

When you're parenting a child, there are so many times you have to tell a child how things are going to be that you need to find times to let them make their own decision. Young children struggle to show their independence and if you don't find a time to let them demonstrate it, they will keep fighting to find it. You need to find a time to let them make a decision, that no matter what they decide, no one gets hurt.

My favorite way to let my kid’s show their independence was with their haircuts. As soon as they were old enough to care, I let them decide how they wanted their hair cut. A haircut doesn’t hurt anyone and can be changed at any time.

When my son was little, he tried to see how far he could push this issue. He kept getting his hair cut shorter and shorter because he knew I preferred it longer. Then for one appointment, he asked if he could get his head shaved. I said sure and boy, was he shocked. He got it shaved, but it wasn’t too long before he started growing it back again. It didn't hurt anyone, but he got to show his independence.

Another easy way to let a child show independence is to let them pick their own clothes for the day. If they’re headed to daycare or school, it’s okay if their clothes don’t match exactly. Let them show their independence on a normal day-to-day basis. Then, if you’re on your way to get a portrait taken and you want them to be dressed in a certain manner, you can be the parent and tell them what you want them to wear.

A good way to give an older child some independence is to let them plan your families free time on a Saturday. It will teach them responsibility along with letting them know that you value their opinion and trust them to make a good decision. It has to be within reason, of course, but they will love the fact you gave them the independence.